I have always had a love hate relationship with holidays.
Valentine’s day? hate. Christmas? love. This being my third Mother’s day I feel it should be a Mother’s Month, not a day, a month (at least). My first Mother’s day I was still a walking zombie, so I didn’t really have the opportunity to reflect on being a parent. My main focus then was to make sure my baby was safe and to try and get as much sleep as I could, which was not very much.
As time went on, and I came out of the newborn haze, I found out that parenting is a competitive sport. I am a competitive person, but I only like “competing” against myself. I love to take on new challenges and I encourage all my clients to do the same. I find all this competing extremely stressful. I choose to do what’s best for my daughter and my family. I have even had someone tell me that “I don’t get my mommy badge unless I have two kids” — What does that even mean?
We are all different and unique individuals. Our circumstances and needs vary greatly from person to person and in this case mother to mother. Instead of being supportive and celebrating each other, I find that some women do the opposite.
Now that I am a mother I have never experienced so much love (and lack of sleep). Sounds cheesy, but it’s not, and I’ll explain why. I was not able to forgive people in my life for what I thought they had done to me and I was quick to judge before I became a parent. Something happened between the time she was born and now, that I don’t have space in my heart or mind to be that person anymore. I am always working on being more compassionate towards others and myself. I understand no one is perfect. My daughter has taught me that the more I give, the more I receive – all without saying a word.
I have met some amazing mothers, some are clients, that in my opinion have super hero powers. Some are single parents, which by the way now has taken on a whole new meaning for me. Before “single parent” were just two words.
I have been very fortunate to have a healthy, happy, and well-adjusted child. The past 24 months have taught me a lot about who I am and what I am capable of doing. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
(Written May 2012)